Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Ryan, remember this is Heddy we're talking

I had the best night last night.

There's something about waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When it finally does, you were expecting it.

Wally, thank you for doing the "Community Jot." I saw that and was able to catch up on what was going online while I was out having fun last night.

To Ryan "Kansas" and his wife, my apologies that you weren't given an apology but were instead lectured about me. What can we do with someone obsessed?

Not much.

I'm feeling a little like Briget Fonda in Single, White Female but I imagine it must be worse for you because while I can crack jokes about "Heddy," she wrote and led you both to believe it was an apology.

Are we really so surprised that someone who seems to believe I should write 'like a man' in order to win her approval can't apologize to someone she's wronged?


And anyone who assumes that there is only one way to write isn't someone that we should concern us with too much.

But I am sorry for you (Ryan) and for your wife. I did feel a fire storm was brewing over there.
I'm sorry that instead of addressing that at her site, "Heddy" decided to make me the focus. I'm also sorry that when she finally writes the "apology," she's still made me the focus (she's not the first to be obsessed with me) instead of addressing what happened to you.

But do you think she ever apologized to Arundhati Roy? Do you think she ever wrote her?

Let's picture how that would go:

to: Arundhati Roy
from: Heddy
title: Apology from All Puff and No Politics
C.I. passed your address on to me. I did try to write you but you mispelled something in your address because it's your problem, the problem is never me, it is always someone else. And of course I'm only writing because an obvious point, that I may have hurt you, wasn't obvious to me because I didn't see it on TV in a push up bra.
I think you need to understand that when Kat wrote that I was endorsing attacks on you, she was obviously wrong. Just because I link to and regularly promote an anti-feminist rag that wished you harm and treated your safety as a joke, just because I continue to promote them, doesn't mean that Kat has any right to question my feminism! Sorry that you won't be visiting All Puff and No Politics anymore.

I think that's how it would go. I think she'd continue to be obsessed with me.

And isn't that easier than addressing a serious issue like what happened to you?

Or explaining why she promotes a magazine that encourages attacks on Arundhati Roy?

And Heddy's busy trying to chase down "complexity" in TV portrayals of men behind bar. Or trying to track down quotes she can put up since, and are we surprised, thinking is beyond her.

A thinking person would have realized that was no apology to you.

But why think, or examine, when you're convinced that you're always right?

We're all wrong. The whole world is wrong. Heddy's right.

She was, guessing here, right to laud shows like Veronica Mars as "good" for women and young girls. As Veronica's become the woman who cried false rape, she has nothing to say on that. She's too busy slobbering over how Rob Thomas may be the next Joss Whedon!

Surely that is the most important topic facing the world today.

In her mind.

If you're a Black Eyed Peas fan, you may know "Going Gone." You may know the chorus that Jack Johnson offers since it's from his song "Gone." It's a message lost on Heddy. Maybe if I substitute some words? I'll sub four words and they will all be in caps. Otherwise, this is from The Black Eyed Peas with Jack Johnson, "Going Gone:"

You see yourself in the mirror
And you feel safe coz it looks familiar
But you afraid to open up your soul
Coz you don't really know, don't really know
Who is, the person that's deep within
Coz you are content with just being THE QUEEN BEE TOKEN
And you fail to see that its trivial
Insignificant, you addicted to material
I've seen your kind before
You the type that thinks souls is sold in a store
Packaged up with inscent sticks
With them vegetarian meals
To you that's righteous
You're fiction like books
You need to go out to life and look
Coz what happens when they take your material
And you already sold your soul and its
Everything gone
Give a damn
Gone be the birds when they don't want to sing
Gone people
All awkward with their things

Ryan, think about it this way, you're anti-war. And Heddy is still trying to figure out where she stands. So it's okay that you're attacked, that I'm attacked, that Bright Eyes is attacked and that
Arundhati Roy is attacked. If you ask me, I'd rather be on Heddy's hate list.

I'd rather be with people like Bright Eyes and Arundhati then the old rag. If you think about it like that, I think you'll see that being on Heddy's hate list is actually a plus.

Like The Black Eyed Peas warn, "What's worse is your soul gonna be gone" (gone, going gone). So Heddy's got bigger problems than me. There's a world out there and wars going on and we need voices who acknowledge that. She can't. Her problem.

Take comfort in that, Ryan.