Friday, December 23, 2005

Thank you

For those who've missed the news, Bully Boy's been authorizing the spying on American citizens. That came out last Friday. Bully Boy's done a number of dances including the "I didn't spy on calls that started and ended in this country." We've learned since that domestic calls were listened to.

If you've missed it, Rebecca, Wally, Mike, Elaine and C.I. have been hitting hard on this topic all week. I'd love to pretend like I have as well. I haven't. I've been working on pieces for The Common Ills. Three in all. The first one went up this morning, another will go up Saturday and the last one will go up Sunday.

As most of you know, while attempting to steer some traffic and raise some interest in another site, I was rewarded with a slap in the face by a 2x4. That was shocking for a number of reasons. Such as, I've had people disagree with my opinions before but, as an adult, I've never had someone tell me that I had to change my mind. I'd also had never guessed that a private attempt to force that, by a man, would be seen as no big deal by a woman who identified as a feminist. Or that said feminist would hold a man's way of writing up as an ideal. Or that my words would be distorted (while in quote marks) at a site that was so busy screaming privately that I change my opinion. I didn't trust the "peace" offer but was willing to attempt it and had no idea that my "sister" in feminism would spend all her time trashing me in various e-mails. (But never any to me.) Trashing me in words she wouldn't say publicly but felt free to e-mail out to a reader of her site and to my friends.

While claiming to want "peace" and in the midst of a cease fire on my end and everyone else's in the community. Ava replied to one of them in a detached manner only to get a screaming reply back from our "sister." When Jess made a point to reply to one of the many trash me e-mails, he got no reply. Probably because he wasn't detached and noted that the continued trashing of me made it appear the "sister"'s olive branch had a lot of thorns on it.

The trashing took me by surprise when it first happened, it continued to shock me as it refused to let up. If it had just been the jerk demanding a correction, I wouldn't have been so shocked -- I'm not new to the male ego. But it did shock me that a "sister" would conduct herself as that one did.

I hadn't written anything for The Common Ills since the start of November and I had been working on two pieces when the trashing started. I had no idea how much it effected me until I submitted the first one to C.I. and immediately started doubting it. C.I. assured me it was great. Then I had to send it to Rebecca to get her opinion on it. Both were supportive and encouraging. Even so, I had to call Cedric who is really busy right now and read it to him over the phone yesterday.

To say the trashing did a number on me would be putting it mildly.

For Eli, I reviewed Carly Simon's No Secrets. It's up now. Tomorrow's review is of an album that came out next year. (And it is already written so don't think, "Oh, it's going to be a week and a half before we see that one!")

I appreciate everyone in the community's support and I think that's why I was able to ignore how much the trashing hurt me. I was able to talk about my anger over the trashing but not about the hurt. So I'll say now that it hurt a great deal and that the encouragement really helped me through. Thank you.










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